Here is the original post – go look at it. There are pretty pictures. (This was written on June 13. Once again I don’t want to flood the blog with the same kind of posts, so I’m scheduling it. Maybe all of my answers will be totally different by June 22. If they are, I will edit the post.)
1. Who is your #1 crush?
I have no idea! Maybe it’s YOU.
2. Have you ever tried online dating? How did it go? Any tips?
When I was sad and pregnant I set up an account on okcupid that I knew I would get a lot of compliments from – selfish, I know. I just wanted to feel the way I usually do after first meeting people – the first impressions I give are usually more interesting than what comes after. Anyway, about a week later I made all messages from okcupid skip my inbox and go straight to my gmail archives. A couple weeks ago I remembered my account existed, and now I’m kind of horrified to go look at it.
As for tips, I think I just tried to be disarmingly genuine, and only talked about the parts of my life that make me different from the crowd. There’s such a predominant “crowd” in my area that being different (without any affectation) brings you a lot of attention. I’ve been deeply aware of this since I was a young kid, and it kind of bothers me now. Using something genuine as a way to get what I want is like this gross habit I have now, and the hypocrisy of it is disgusting. Now you know about it and you can slap my wrist if you catch me accidentally doing it.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that I will eventually resort to online dating to find someone that I actually want to meet. The statistics of online dating are impressive. Not that I have the will to google them right now.
3. Are you sentimental? Do you keep the things other people give you?
Indeed I do. Thinking of the most sentimental objects I have, I think I accidentally stole most of them from people I love. Whoops.
4. As a child, what were your primary interests?
Being the best at everything all the time. Crushing up plants and pretending to be an apothecary. Trying to get deer to live in my front yard. Walking in straight lines. Wearing more than one skirt at once. Staring out the car window assessing the properties we drove by; trying to guess what happens in their secret spots. Little fuzzy animals in cages. Doing anything I could to make money.
5. What are your top 3 guilty pleasures?
I’m trying to think of actual guilty pleasures – the kind I would be too embarrassed to admit to anyone. Because that is really the only way to give this question an interesting answer. Well, I can at least make an attempt: I like to stand barefoot on hot asphalt until it feels like my feet are on fire. I like to walk around aimlessly at night, indulging in despondency. I like to be part of pretty pictures and I make that a priority. I like to lie on my bed and think about the things I know I shouldn’t think about; the things that will just make everything worse. Don’t tell anyone.