I’m to that if-I-have-to-write-or-edit-one-more-article-I’m-going-to-flay-someone’s-skin-and-then-make-them-eat-it time of day. It usually comes right after that sick-of-feigning-happiness time of week and just before that knitting-in-the-shower-listening-to-massive-attack-while-possibly-crying time of week. So it’s time to ignore my job for a little bit and indulge in a little curious tuesday-ing.
(If you haven’t noticed, the semi-colon has been de-throned and the hyphen is my new favorite punctuation mark. Who doesn’t love a tidal wave of hyphens?)
Anyway, I was going to write a post about marriage anyway, when this issue of Curious Tuesday popped up.
1. How do you feel about marriage as a concept? Realistic? Romantic? A pipe-dream?
Okay, well this has several answers. First, let’s address marriage as an institution recognized by the government: I completely disagree with the way marriage is treated by the American government today. Frankly it’s none of their business. I do recognize that some recognition of a coupling by the government is necessary to keep society in order. However, I think that the government has no say in who a person should be able to marry (except for minors, of course. Minors should be protected). Our current civil unions are closer to my ideal, but I think that whatever recognition the government hands out should not discriminate, even based on whether or not the relationship is romantic – if I want to combine my life, responsibilities and taxes with any other consenting adult, I should be able to.
As for marriage as a religious institution, I have no opinion of it. Nor interest in it. That is no one’s business but the engaged couple.
Marriage as a specific, individually-created vow, however, I do believe in. For a long time I didn’t understand the purpose of the ceremony, but I’m starting to grasp it more. When I get married, I don’t necessarily want it recognized by the government or any church – but it will still be a marriage. The ceremony will include promises made in front of friends and family. This is an umbrella over all the other questions surrounding what a “marriage” actually is – promises concerning monogamy, practical implications, length, etc. should all be thoughtfully invented by each individual couple.
I know. I’m so romantic. Call Nicholas Sparks, because he’s going to want to write this stuff down.
2. Do you think you’ll ever want to get married?
Yes. I want to for sure. But, obviously, one person abstractly wanting to is far from what’s needed to actually get married.
3. If you did get married, would you want a big blow-out celebration or would you keep it low-key?
I think this question is actually about how much money I want to spend on the ceremony and reception. My answer is: not much at all. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be a big beautiful blow-out celebration.
These last two questions don’t apply to me, but if you readers are married, answer them! Please. We can all learn from your experience.
4. If you are married now, how has that changed your relationship?
5. If you’re married, how did you celebrate it? Knowing what you know now, would you have done it differently?