I’ve only got phone-ternet in the hospital, so you’ll get the detailed, well written birth story later. For now let’s let it rest at “Everything’s fine.”
October 8, 2009
- 8:18 p.m. – Tomorrow Winston goes to the babysitter’s for a couple weeks. And tonight he’s totally ignoring me. If only he knew how much he’ll miss my stifling, repressive love.
- 9:03 p.m. – I’m still pretty mobile, for being so pregnant. I can get up from sitting on the floor with at least a little bit of grace. But man, getting in and out of cars is tough. Painful.
- 9:43 p.m. – I should stop being an ass to all of my friends. I generally completely ignore their victories or good qualities and point out their inadequacies. Not out of malice or anything, I just sometimes forget that it is productive to make people feel good about themselves.
- 9:55 p.m. – Ethical/interpersonal quagmire. Is pity for someone who has wronged you a sign of weakness? And when it seems like your only options are to be sad (a.k.a. a victim) or bitter (a.k.a. resentful and stagnant), what is the third option that I’m just not seeing? Don’t even want to think about it. I’d much rather just eat Otter Pops and knit all day.
- 11:57 p.m. – I just went to the grocery store for non-necessities and it was easy and convenient and I was able to talk on the phone and no tantrums were thrown and I appreciated it as much as I could. For future reference.
October 9, 2009
- 12:33 a.m. – One day closer to the big day. Maybe today is the big day. Nobody knows.
- 2:34 p.m. – The thing about “getting ready” for a baby is that it’s impossible. And annoying. Because the “readier” I am, the fewer contractions I have. And looking at that empty car seat? Trying on that empty sling? Organizing the clean diapers and neatly folding and re-folding onesies? It’s a miserable amount of excitement and anticipation. But I can’t complain about it, because oh-I’ll-be-missing-the-order-once-the-baby-comes-just-you-trust-me. And beyond all the physical preparations, being “ready” for a baby isn’t like being ready to run a marathon or build a house. There’s just no definition for it. So when people ask if I’m ready, I can’t say yes and I don’t say no. Wait. This is such a non-issue. Nevermind.
- 6:27 p.m. – Hoo boy. Sometimes the best ideas are pretty terrifying. Make that “sometimes” a “usually”.
- 6:33 p.m. – I finished my “get borned” playlist. Bands that aren’t allowed: The Decemberists, Great Big Sea, Billy Joel, Bob Dylan, Nirvana, We Five, and The Proclaimers.
- 6:51 p.m. – “I heard you with my ear. ‘Noculars.” So good.
October 10, 2009
- 4:20 a.m. – I’m toeing the line between being “persistent” and being “a stalker.” Not right at this very second. Because I think anything done at four in the morning tends to lean toward “stalker.” But you know, during the daytime. But I’ve got some questions and I’d like some answers.
- 4:27 a.m. – I have a problem with the word “literally,” and have decided that the way to solve my problem is to escalate it until I’ve filled my “literally” quota for life. Right now I’m literally so tired. I miss Winston literally a lot. I literally want someone to bring me some Del Taco.
- 6:16 a.m. – Aaaaaaaaah!
- 6:18 a.m. – I’m awake this early because I fell asleep at eleven. Five consecutive hours of sleep is actually pretty unexpected and awesome.
- 12:16 p.m.- Okay. This is ridiculous. I’m going to go find some new corner of the internet that can give me advice on how to deal with people.
- 2:43 p.m. – The end. I’ve got to deal with this ridiculousness, because I want to be calm and tranquil when I go into labor. Here’s an update on the butterfly so that this isn’t all just words:
And also here’s a song. This is not on the “get borned” playlist, but it’s still good. And it says words that I like. Anyway, it’s Think by Aretha Franklin.
I just found these wonderful photos by marine beloir in the phat quarter pool, and I’m kind of in love. This one is definitely my favorite, but you should also check out all of these beauties.
She also has a blog and a shop on Etsy.
Also, you probably positively need more cat-inspired craft in your life. Follow that link. Do it now.
Remember this post? As soon as I published it, I wanted to start another one. And so I did. I wrote what I was thinking/doing/feeling for about three days, and added some photos of the craftiness. And now it’s gone. I don’t know where it went, but it’s all gone. This is a record of the last few days of my pregnancy! And it’s gone! I’m so angry! I saved it along the way, even though WordPress automatically saves drafts. Then I tried to create a new category, and the internet said that wasn’t allowed. I tried to publish, and the internet said I failed. I went back to the draft, and THE WHOLE THING WAS GONE.
Obviously this is a complete tragedy and it will take me weeks and weeks to get over it. Anyway, here’s the craftiness you missed, and I’ll just start the list all over again.
I found a great vintage book of kitschy animal cross-stitch patterns, and I’m planning on making a bunch to frame and hang in the nursery. First is this butterfly, next is a frog on a lillypad. The butterfly is actually my least favorite of the bunch – all of the other animals are much much kitschier.
And this will soon be a slipper, from this pattern. I’m making it specifically for labor. For some reason I think that having a circus-colored squooshy knit pair of slippers to look at during contractions will somehow help. My sister swears by freshly-painted toenails, and hand-dyed yarn in garter stitch is kind of my own version of that.
And this will soon look like a grey version of the red shrug on the teddy bear in this picture. It’s made from re-claimed yarn just like the slippers. In fact, it’s from the same sweater I used to make this blanket. Sweaters go a long way – I still have maybe 4 skeins of this stuff left. Those large holes are made from an skp-2yo-k2tog pattern, which is super fun.
Today I look like a knocked up hipster.
Everything is thrifted, as usual. Except for the hat, which is handmade. As usual. Also I think I stole the tights from my mom when I was … sixteen? Something like that. Yeah. I never throw out tights.
The shoes are amazing. I should have attempted to get a better photo of them. Anyway, the brand is Bally, which I’ve never heard of. A friend of mine said they looked like British-private-school shoes, and the incredible innacuracy of this statement made me really unreasonably angry. Stupid boys.
Today I’m 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant. By the calendar I have one week and one day left, but baby should be coming any day now. I’ve been pregnant for approximately 272 days. Something so usual shouldn’t be so difficult to wrap my head around.
The name and theme may be updated, but everything else is the same. So far I really like the all-grey look, but it might need a little something. Should I keep the header grey, as it is now, or add some color, like this ?
Anyway, the blog’s address is staying the same. Let me know if there are any glitches or shortcomings in the design so I can fix them.
Saturday, October 3
- There are so many names! I’m going to just walk to the nearest magazine, close my eyes, open to a page, point at someone, and that’s the baby’s name. American Spirit it is.
- Or Ritz-Carlton. Or Alec Baldwin. This isn’t working.
- Dear Jay Leno: Your jokes aren’t funny.
- Laughing gives me contractions. Not painful ones, but the kind that make it so I can’t quite stand up straight.
- Winston just jumped up on the bed, picked up a receipt in his mouth, threw back and shook his head, and then set the receipt back down, stepped away, and sat down calmly. Either he’s mildly retarded or he just knows how to have a good time without worrying about what other people think.
- I just saw a picture that stressed me out so much I actually vomited. That’s ridiculous. Since when have I become a fictional character?
Sunday, October 4
- Sorry I’m inconveniencing you by not knowing exactly when I’ll go into labor. It must be really irritating for you.
- Before last night, I couldn’t remember my last long long phone conversation that didn’t make me want to move into a hotel so I could just sit in the shower and mope for months.
- Except for the practice and the ripening and whatnot, false labor is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME.
- Winston is very petulant today.
- I got a really fantastic jacket, which I’ll probably end up giving to some properly-proportioned boy because it’s just a bit too large for me. But until then, I love it.
- Cross-stitch is the longest path the the most dissatisfying destination. And I love it so much.
Monday, October 5
- I’m pretty proud of myself sometimes.
- Right now I feel like raising some hell, as long as I don’t have to get out of bed to do that.
- After ringing up a cart full of on-sale items at my local thrift store (certain items are 99-cents on Mondays), the cashier said, “You seem way too cool to be such a bargain hunter.” Simultaneously offended and thrilled.
- How did my dad get to be so cool?
- I’m trying to make the nursery look less like it only has 3 furniture items in it. Not doing that well so far.
- I’m also working on my in-labor playlist. I’ve titled it “get borned” and I’m kind of proud of/in love with myself because of that.
- Mucus plug! Sign of progress!
I found a fantastic book of vintage crocheted houseware patterns. Here are a few of my favorites.
Enough with the “meh” posts already. I’ll write about something super-duper exciting next time.
This bootie is probably the least interesting thing I’ve made recently. But good gracious is it cute. Recycled, hand-dyed yarn in shades of pink and purple and blue, and it’s so incredibly soft. And little and ruffly. Basically just looking at this bootie gives me a contraction. The photo is the link to the ravelry page. The pattern is from this book. And let’s just not talk about the background.
I think I’ll do a general outfit post, where instead of putting up pictures of what I’m wearing on that particular day I’ll model examples of what I’ve been wearing lately. Just get the extremely-pregnant-fashion post done in one fell swoop. That is, if there is a day between now and when I go into labor when my hair is brushed and there’s a tidy spot in the house for picture-taking. So maybe not.
I accidentally went eight days without posting. And I don’t feel great about it. I have three drafts that are almost ready to be published, but until then here’s a makeshift list of cool things:
- This blog gives great advice in general, but something about this post got to me.
- I want to make a mobile out of these paper zombies. Probably a terrible idea.
- Girl-crush.
- I’m making a few things to put up on the walls of the nursery, and I’m planning on copying this almost exactly.
- I don’t know why I want to decorate the nursery with so many sugar-coated motifs of death! But look at the lovely Dia de los Muertos stuffies and embroidery.
- Cool birth announcements.
- Fashiony granny crochet. Oh, and there’s more.
- Nabokov was pretty amazing.
- I’ve been meaning to share these two posts from Kingdom of Style for a long time now. The blog itself is magnificent, and when they post something knitted I may or may not tear up a bit.
- I don’t know why I follow this blog. It makes me feel sad and hopeful and mushy. But I still look forward to reading it.
- Seriously behind the times, but I still want to look like this for fall.
- I want to go to there.
And done. Typing “I want” one more time might make me vomit.
Also, in case you missed it on twitter or facebook, I’m 80% effaced and dilated to a 1. So things are progressing. This morning a good friend told me, “That’s awesome your cervix is getting all stretched,” and I laughed for about an hour.
