To distract myself from finals: A study in boring.

Frida Kahlo, Self-Portrait, 1940. See discussi...

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The term “finals” brings with it a sense of stress, urgency and worry that really doesn’t apply to me, as my final projects this semester are relatively easy — even considering my immense procrastination. But I’m sick of them and need to write something different. I feel so bland lately, just writing boring sentences made out of boring words. I feel like I need to write the boring out, and what’s better to do that with than a list of boring questions with boring answers? Anyway, I’m using more prompts from the NaBloPoMo website, as I forgot about them after Nov. 19.

Nov. 22: Tell us about what you’re wearing today. Where’d you get your shoes? How long have you had that tie? Is that your grandmother’s watch?

Today I phoned in my outfit, because Grady was so naughty this morning I couldn’t spare the brainspace to think about looks. I wore a beret I originally knitted as a gift, but then kept for myself because it just wouldn’t work for the person I meant to give it to, a purple tank top, a brown striped cardigan under a blue vintage blazer, jeans and these stupid blue cowboy booties. I’d link you to the beret pattern if I remembered it. I think it had “Gwen” in the title.

Nov. 23: What’s on your wall: prints, posters, photos, paintings? What makes you want to hang something up?

Well, my big beautiful purple wall is cluttered with stacks of books. I’ve never had enough bookshelves, and now that Grady’s favorite thing to do is create chaos out of order, more and more books are being stacked out of reach. I’ve been planning on placing pictures atop each stack of books, but thus far only have images of Frida Kahlo and Georgia O’Keefe up. I have a magnet board on the other side of the room that mostly displays images of inspiration for future projects. Embroidery patterns, fabric, lists, a bunch of peacock feathers. As well as some pictures of family and knitted swatches.
Nov. 24: What turns you on, excites you, makes life worth living?

Turn-ons: Honesty, intelligence, ability to deal with my crazy, and what I’d call “depth” if I didn’t hate that word so. Excitement: A new path, comedy, Shakespeare, discussion, pressurepressurepressure to changechangechange, gossip. And what makes life worth living? Grady, more than anything. Also a handful of beautiful friends and family, the hope that things will get better, and yarn.

Nov. 25: Who are you closer to, friends or family?

This is a difficult question. I definitely talk more to my friends, and they most likely know more about who I am now. But there’s a permanence to family that can’t be replicated, and that I see more clearly now that I have a child. Who I am now is not the entirety of who I am, and my family has a much clearer image of the entire scope. My relationships with family are more simple, reliable, and continuous; even though we really don’t talk much.

Nov. 26: What’s the worst joke you ever heard?

I’m definitely not going to repeat it.

Nov. 29: If you could have worked for anyone in history, in your field, who would you choose and why?

J. Jonah Jameson. I kid. I don’t really approach journalism as working for a writer or editor or publisher — I work for the story and for the reader. This is probably a naive approach, and might only be possible where I work now. I think the writer I’d most like to learn from is Nelly Bly.

Nov. 30: If you could call any living person for advice today, who would you call?

Hm. I’m not sure. Usually when I ask for advice I use it as a method to clarify what I really think I should do — my closest friends know this and aren’t offended when it looks like I don’t listen to or value their advice at all. The advice I need is so personal that I can’t really tell who I’d ask, as people don’t get famous for knowing how to handle their personal lives. Wait. I know. I’d ask the entire staff of Bitch magazine. That would be swell.

Dec. 1: If you could stop your body from aging at any point in your life, what age would you want to stay at and why?

I’d stop it about two months ago, for boob-related reasons. I wouldn’t want my pre-pregnancy body back because I like how my new body is like a badge, saying that I have a daughter. It aligns more clearly with who I am than my pre-pregnancy body would.

Dec. 2: What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Jeez. I have no idea. Does being young and invested in change and open to relationships count?

Dec. 3: If you could erase one type of animal from the face of the earth, what would it be?

Well, that’s a silly question because erasing any one animal would cause a horrific chain reaction. But if I could magically assure that it wouldn’t have any negative effects, I’d send every spider straight to hell. Every arachnid, for that matter.

Dec. 7: Are you a competitive person or not? What helps you refocus and/or work harder when you find yourself slacking off?

Sort of. I’m competitive when I know it’s a contest I can win, or when I’m feeling spiteful towards the “competition.” I’ve found that if I’m slacking off, it’s often just part of the cycle of happy and sad. If I just let the sad happen and try to learn from it, the happy will come around again soon. Obviously this doesn’t mean that I think it’s healthy to let actual problems stagnate, but that belief is just part of my nature and is worked into both phases of the cycle. I was raised to be a ruthless problem-solver.

Dec. 6: Which of your senses means the most to you?

Probably sight. I couldn’t bare to not see Grady ever again. I think I could handle losing any of the other senses.

Guh. I don’t feel any better. Sorry kids. I’m going to try and work on making this blog a better product; something more interesting and less wasteful.

Clarification

This is a follow-up on this post about what Grady and I want for Christmas.

Just to reiterate, I will be making a few Christmas presents. But if I give you something, please don’t feel obligated to give me anything in return. Seriously.

The picture is a sneak peak of something I’m working on from this book. I’m making a bunch of the same project in different fabrics, and have learned a few things about sewing/quilting so far:

  • Thinking you can freehand geometric machine quilting is stupid. Don’t think that.
  • If a pattern doesn’t provide you with all the pieces in pattern paper, but says to cut out various rectangles of various specified sizes, don’t be scared. It’s not that hard.
  • I’ve made about 60 miles of handmade bias tape, and I promise it’s not that hard. You can do it. Granted, this particular pattern says that the bias tape need not be cut on the bias, and I don’t know if bias-cut bias tape is more difficult to make. Bias bias bias.

Also, if you haven’t yet noticed, I’m totally cheating on this NaBloPoMo thing. I’m writing this on Nov. 29 and scheduling it retroactively for Nov. 24. But meh. I think I’ll still be able to post 30 times in a 30-day month, so who cares.

Day 16

SUPREME IMPIETY. ATHEIST AND CHARLATAN "A...

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Giveaway update: The first piece is almost done, the second is designed with all the necessary supplies, and the third is an almost-designed solid idea. I’m pretty excited to show them off here once they’ve been given away.

I forgot for a while that I was using prompts for this NaBloPoMo thing, and so I have a few saved up. Which is lucky, because I’m low on ideas for today’s post. It’s also unlucky, because all of the questions I accidentally skipped are ones that I absolutely do not want to answer. But I’ll do my best.

Nov. 10: What do you like most about cold weather? What do you like the least?

I’m not sure that I like anything about cold weather. It’s nice to not have to shave, but I still shave anyway because I don’t like the way stubble feels under tights. What I’m most excited about this winter is to have a break – when my internship ends and winter break at school begins. I’ll miss the internship (mostly because I’ll miss the money), but man it’ll be nice to stay home with Grady all day every day.

Nov. 11: What do you *really* wish you were doing right now, and how soon do you think you can make it happen?

Well, I kind of have no goals or aspirations. The things I want selfishly would come at Grady’s ultimate expense, so I don’t really want them. I do wish I were in a relationship (a healthy one would be nice), but have absolutely no idea how to “make that happen.”

Nov. 12: What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made for another person? Was it worth it?

Didn’t I just answer that? I sacrificed a life, an identity, a body for Grady — and yes, it was absolutely worth it. I still tend to complain, but that’s mostly because I’m forgetful. For example: Just now I was complaining about being single, forgetting that it’s pretty likely that I’m single because I’m a busy mom. Knowing that Grady is on the other end of that bargain makes it absolutely worth it, but sometimes I forget about the connection. Bah. I suck at writing today.

Nov. 15: Are you spiritual, religious, agnostic, or atheist? Do you think there is one path to God, or many?

I’m an atheist, and generally feel great about that. For me personally, atheism has absolutely made me a better person that any sort of religion ever did. I get that doesn’t work for everyone. I really don’t care what people believe — just don’t be stupid, hurtful, ignorant, intolerant, or an ass.

Nov. 16: Who’s the most difficult person you’ve known in your life, and what would you like to tell him or her?

I am the most difficult person in my life, which is kind of a self-sufficient parasitic problem. Beyond that, I’ve already said everything I could possibly say to the second most difficult person. I told you. I didn’t want to answer any of these questions. But I must remain true to the completely arbitrary rules of the website that comes up first in the Google search for “NaBloPoMo!”

Note: I don’t know what that image is of. I use a thing called Zemanta, which makes suggestions for images and links and tags as I write blogs. If I have a post without a picture, I’ll add whichever of Zemanta’s recommendations I like most, and that one was my favorite.

Day 8

I finished this book quite a while ago, but don’t really want to review it because I just didn’t like it at all.

yellow shoe

It made me smile once or twice, but I spent the majority of the book just wishing it would end. Also, I kept hearing Sedaris’ voice reading it in my head – not to say that I don’t love his voice, but he speaks much slower than I read and I kept tripping over the difference.

Not “tripping” as in “drugs,” “tripping” as in stumbling because one half of my brain wanted to read twice as fast as the other half.

After this book I started reading Jonathan Ames‘ “The Extra Man,” which was a book I was really excited about. After reading some of his shorter stuff, falling in love with his TV show and his tweets, and watching his adorable appearance on Craig Ferguson where he kept accidentally talking about his penis, I was really excited to dive in to one of his longer books.

But after the first chapter, I felt … well I felt like it was too much about men. And I can’t read it right now because of that. Maybe later, when feeling too much “man” in the air doesn’t make me ill.

Anyway, on to greener pastures. Virginia Woolf, I haven’t talked to you since high school and am thrilled to renew our acquaintence.

And for today’s prompt. It’s a multi-part question so I’ll split it up.

What would your dream home/apartment/condo/yurt look like? Guh. I don’t know. I do know that it would be tidier than my house is now. Grady’s favorite thing is to turn tidiness into chaos, and it’s making me all twitchy – which is strange because I’m usually so uncomfortable in overly-tidy places. There would be colorful walls and a crazy-ass garden in the front yard that would keep my neighbors away, and a room that only I am allowed in where I can knit in peace, and crocheted/knitted blankets everywhere and space for creativity and work.

Where would it be? Sometimes I like living in Utah. But the results of this year’s election really make me want to leave. I really don’t have enough experience anywhere else to say. Generally I feel like my roots are planted so deep here, and that leaving would do more harm than good – even though I can tell the good would be immense. In any case, I’m staying in Utah for the rest of my father’s life, without question.

Who’d live in it with you? I’ve been pretty lonely lately, so this answer will probably (hopefully) eventually become more picky. But right now, the answer is just someone. Someone I can talk with and relate to and share with and help. And Grady, of course.

Prompts, days 4-6

I’m loving NaBloPoMo. Don’t forget about the giveaway!

Nov. 4: Would you rather be wealthy and ugly, wise and sickly, or beautiful and stupid?

For Grady’s sake I’d say wealthy and ugly. For my own I’d say wise and sickly.

Nov. 5: What makes you notice someone?

I’ll admit it: I’m extremely self-centered, and rarely really notice other people. Not until I think they hate me do I actually consider them as a human being. I’m working on it.

Nov. 6: No prompt! They recommend posting without words, which is not my strong suit. So here’s some cool junk I found on the internet:

 

The Gradinator: A Study in Movement

(Jenn, don’t look. You’ll get nauseous.)

I am obsessed with these.

And for today’s prompt: Describe the plot of the next book you want to read, even if the book doesn’t exist yet.

Okay. I’m excited about this.

So it’s basically a book that’s almost exactly like the plot of Firefly, the TV show. (I know, that makes me sound pretty unintelligent but this is my fantasy and you can back right up, imagined disapproving masses.) Here are the differences:

  • Captain Mal has a first mate, and his name is Harry Truman. And he’s exactly like the president Harry Truman, but, you know, also a space cowboy. And they have a relationship akin to Kirk and Spock.
  • It’s written by a Whedon/Steinbeck/L’Amour hybrid.
  • You finally get to find out about the preacher’s mysterious past, and it is totally satisfying.
  • In general, more nudity. And more knitwear while we’re at it.
  • It’s longer. The most important thing is that this imaginary book is longer than the series was.
  • David Bowie writes the foreward.

Edit: If that’s not enough Grady for you in one day, here‘s a video.

NaNoNoNo

Abstract Colorful Universe Wallpaper - TTdesign

So November is National Blog Post Month, also known as NaBloPoMo. It’s also NaNoWriMo, which I am just so not interested in. But good luck to all of those that are.

Anyway, I’m kind of tempted to try and post every day this month. Since I just barely heard about the web-wide challenge, and it’s thisclose to Nov. 2, this won’t be much of a post. But here’s what I’ve got.

  • You can see all the stuff I’ve written at The Daily Herald here. It’s all about theater or music or art.
  • Today I drove to alone to Salt Lake to attend a seminar about grief during the holidays. It was stupid for so many reasons: 1) It’s the farthest I’ve been from my baby and it made me nervous. 2) I was hoping to make an article out of it and just totally failed at being a good reporter. 3) It was all about, you know, dying and bereavement. So it was extremely depressing. 4) It’s difficult to find help outside of “the box” in Utah.
  • I’m making a dress for Grady with size 2 needles, and my poor-quality circular is giving me serious knuckle/wrist pain. But the dress is so cute!
  • Don’t ask me why I’m including that picture, because I have no idea.
  • I’m really excited to vote for Sam Granato tomorrow.
  • I might follow the lead of my friend Jennie, who started blogging daily by answering questions. And I loved it while she was doing it.