This is a blog post.

After a downpour of pointless tweets, I made this promise. But I’m still nervous! So I’ll just blog instead. All night long.

  • 7:12 p.m. Grady just pulled bell hooks’ “Yearning” off the shelf and is flipping through it quite intently. I love her a lot.
  • 7:29 p.m. Grady just perfected her Peter O’Toole impression. If Peter O’Toole ever meowed with tragic importance, it sounded exactly like what Grady just did.
  • 7:32 p.m. Grady and Winston are playing, tugging around two apron ties. It. Is. Adorable.
  • 7:37 p.m. (Grady is currently in her energy-burst-before-bed phase. She does the cutest things first thing in the morning and right before bed.)
  • 8:15 p.m. Aaaaaand she’s asleep.
  • 8:23 p.m. I really like transparency. I even like how socially awkward people get when transparency is a priority.
  • 8:29 p.m. Today I used the word “lucubration” in front of people who really obviously didn’t know what that means and I felt like an ass.
  • 8:29 p.m. (It means nighttime meditation or study, particularly by candlelight. Yeah, it’s an awesome word.)
  • 8:34 p.m. Regretting the choice to include the time before each non-tweet. It’s getting annoying/cumbersome.
  • 8:49 p.m. OKAY FINE I’LL LOOK AT MY INBOX. #inquietude
  • 8:51 p.m. Alright. I was going to “prepare myself” to type up a few free-writing flow-of-consciousness awkwardly honest e-mails, but instead I think I need to crochet a bunch of these stars and make some bunting out of them. Yeah, that should definitely be my priority. Sorry, e-mails.

  • 8:52 p.m. For the sake of transparency: I was going to wait till morning to send the e-mails, so I could edit them down to an acceptable level of honesty.
  • 9:21 p.m. One star complete!

  • 9:23 p.m. It didn’t take me that whole time to make one star. I also did some other boring things.
  • 9:33 p.m. Hint: When crocheting with thread, it helps to cut the fingernails on both thumbs and pointer fingers as short as you possibly can. Trust me.
  • 9:58 p.m. Four stars done. Yaaaaay diversion projects.
  • 9:59 p.m. How awesome would it be if some cool famous person opened an etsy store? Like Jason Schwartzmann or Sophia Coppola or Jesca Hoop or Tilda Swinton or DAVID BOWIE.
  • 10:01 p.m. Also, how awesome would it be if Tilda Swinton were to play David Bowie in a biopic?
  • 10:29 p.m. I can feel it. That bad time of night is on its way.
  • 10:41 p.m. Ruh-roh.
  • 10:49 p.m. Why is it that it always takes me so long to realize that any time I’m experiencing emotional distress (I know, that term does in fact make me qualify as a cyborg. I’m over it.) it’s always because of the Mel/mom dichotomy? I’m fairly certain I’ve talked at length about this thing but can’t find a link, so that probably doesn’t make sense to most of you. Whoever “you” are. But when mom-Mel and Mel-Mel aren’t on the same page, Mel gets distressed. This time it took full weeks to recognize the reason.
  • 11:04 p.m. “Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole.
  • 11:05 p.m. Alright. I want to wake up to the rest of that episode, so it’s lights out. Lucubration time, followed by restlessness time, followed by dream time.

Gratitude.

  • This post, which inspired what I’m writing now.
  • Mornings when waking up isn’t the worst thing in the world.
  • This dress, which is the perfect intersection of comfort and prettiness:

  • Noodle soup: now with extra noodles.
  • My wonderful dad who is constantly shocking me with how much he loves me and Grady.
  • That yesterday I used at least four words not exactly knowing what they mean, and none of my friends made me feel bad about it.
  • Grady’s return to health, and her penchant for climbing into toy bins:

  • Shakespeare.
  • That one performance of The Vagina Monologues I got to attend.
  • Men with facial hair.
  • That I saw this picture this morning:

  • Last night.
  • My classes.
  • That I’m finally comfortable enough with myself to post early-morning bedhead no-makeup pictures on the internet.
  • That I can feel the sun on my face this morning.
  • Nutella.

  • The bookshelf by my bed.
  • Every second I’m not thinking about money.
  • The movement to save Planned Parenthood.
  • This song, and the beautiful person who introduced me to it.

  • David Bowie and The Detroit Cobras.
  • That Grady thinks plain Greek yogurt is super delicious and still eats very little refined sugar.
  • The freedom of making my own deadlines.
  • All of my tattoos.